At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I want to fling myself into the sun
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
