dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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