dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
