so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You made out with two different species that night
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
BRING THE BAGELS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
