I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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