i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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