the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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