8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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