As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
