it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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