I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
