ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
