I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
