i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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