I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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