At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
