I cockslap morals
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
