So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ok first of all what the fuck
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
