well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
