I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
