Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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