I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
