Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
