The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
