I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
