she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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