once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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