no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize