i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
