i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
