Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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