Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
