I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize