And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
