Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize