The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize