no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
