Im at strip club and am horny
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
pray to the hookup gods
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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