I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
