Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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