I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
