It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
