i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
