He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
