let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
