it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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