is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
