i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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