You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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