I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize