So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So apparently I’m into choking now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
