butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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