Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
