I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
