I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
