why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
