I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
