I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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