Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize