Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
