he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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