"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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